Saturday, 6 April 1861
Very fine, grayish, pleasant, but with that cold East Wind!
Down at 9. The garden & the Peacox. ― Breakfast, with Archer, who is a delightful boy. Kind clear Mrs. Clive also came, & Mildmay & Sybella, & darling little Kathleen ― who says she will go to Timbuc with me in 20 years, “if she is not ill.” She is certainly [A.1.] as an interesting child. At 10 ― Archer & 2 Dogs ― Self, & much luggage were in the break ― & I left Perrystone & its dear good mistress, whose sympathy has done me much good. The place is wholly shut in within itself ― unobtrusive & homeish: all the scenery rich & lovely: & I hope they will stay there now, always.
― Drive ― shakily, ― & I very unwell, ― to Ross: ― Archer, a gentle good clever lad ― saw me off. ―― Gloucester at 11… & some 3 odd minutes after the Bristol Train had gone. ( I had resolved to postpone Bath till Monday ― & to go to Torquay: a half-mad scheme ― but I cling to any promise of calm ― or weariness.) ― Waited till 1& came to Bristol by 2.30. At 3 went on by well known Highbridge, & Taunton, to Exeter, by 5.30. Wait again an hour. My “corpo”1 troubles me ― but I am not alarmed now as I should have been a month ago, simply because it seems to me that ˇ[now] all care or joy or grief are folly. ― Set off at 6.25 ― & so, by the Ex, & Dantish, & Teignmouth ― where I was in 1851 ― just 10 years ago ― to Newton Junction & thence, to Torquay by 8. Omnibus to Royal Hotel. Supper at 9. ― Weary absurd life! ―― καὶ τὶ νὰ κάμω; Ἀκόμη δὲν ἀποθνήσκω, ― άλλὰ ἳσως πρέπει νὰ ἀποθνήσκω, διὰ ὀλίγον καφίν.2
The Clives kindnesses dwell in my memory: ― so does the year 1857, & my sister at Lydford, & my walks hereabout.
Sogno di vita!3
[Transcribed by Marco Graziosi from Houghton Library, Harvard University, MS Eng. 797.3.]
I wonder if “Kind clear Mrs. Clive” might be “Kind dear Mrs. Clive”? Though usually “dear” would come before other adjectives, I suppose. And should “coffe” in 2. be “coffee”?
Of course it is “dear,” though checking the MS it still reads “clear.” Lear’s handwriting is particularly bad in this period. Thanks for calling my attention to the typo.