[gr.] ― Slept long ― woke at 7. The day is gray & [calm] dull ― o how dull! ― To day ― & next Sunday I shall submit to the A. creed ― wicked as it is in itself. It is a penance for me ― but better men go through it. ―― I do not like my idle life ― yet dare not give room to anxiety as yet. ―

Walked a bit with W.H.E. ― It does not seem 13 years ago since I was here! ― What he says of F.N. is very remarkable. She has been home twice only, since the Crimea: & once for a night only. Nor do Mr. Mrs. & P. see her in town: ― if the 2 latter do, they weep or worry. So she is at the Burlington, with a man only: or, now at Highgates, where S.H. goes to see her daily ― she always working at her Military Hospital [Calen ]. ― These things appear to lesser minds a mystery: but I cannot but think they are the natural result of her life. ―

― At 11 church ― a barnlike but well managed affair ― & evidently greatly improved by W.H.E.’s care. Mrs. H.E.’s grave, with a chaplet of roses, renewed once a week ― was affecting. The villagers placed a window in the Church as a memorial of her. ― Happily, the horrid A. Creed was not read. ― The day is still heavy & gray ― blackbirds only singing: a profoundly melancholy spot, if there were not one of two things, or both ― a fullness of mental & bodily occupation or a ˇ[warm] respect/sympathy with others sharing the quiet almost=solitude. ― As for me ― I am “held in suspension.” ―

Dinner. The curate ― Mr. Johnson ― not very nice ― & his wife ― better. Some talk afterwards with W.E. who is truly good: he never reads the A. creed. ― So, out of respect I went to Church again, not having meant to do so. And afterwards, lo! Mr. Nightingale, George Waldegrave ― & Mr. Long: with whom W.E. & I walked over to Embley, meeting one Spottiswode: a nicish fellow wh. had been to Mt. Ararat. At Embley we all dawdled a while ― Sir. H.G. Verney being there also. ― & so ― at 5¾ W.E. & I set out again, & returned. Tea: after which I played & sang a good deal. ―

&c. Supper ― asparagus ― & bed.

Very happy day.

[Transcribed by Marco Graziosi from Houghton Library, Harvard University, MS Eng. 797.3.]