Edward Lear's Diaries

X

Cold, showery.

Slept ill. ― A frightful weariness seems to weigh me down ― [apart from] ― this inside stoppage, wh. continues ― but with less pain ― & to day I do not so much think of a rupture, as a strain, bringing in partial stoppage.

Wrote & dawdled. O bitter weariness & void!

In the afternoon I walked with Lucy F. to Pittville, & by the college ― from 2 to 4. Mrs. F. is always so quiet & so sensible that her company exactly suit me just now. What she tells me of D. & E. Fowler, & of Annie, is “far from” pleasant. Later I went to the Chemists & got some medicine: ― perhaps the having done so made me feel somewhat better. Dinner: playing & singing ― & a very pleasant evening.

[Transcribed by Marco Graziosi from Houghton Library, Harvard University, MS Eng. 797.3.]

Cold. Slept pretty well. ―

Fine ― showery. ―

Wrote some letters.

After Lunch, F. & R.F. & H.T.F. walked with me up Peeklington? Hill. Very remarkably beautiful view of Cheltenham & Gloucester.

Piuttosto¹ bored by F. the boys are well enough. But all mean well. ―― Myelf, very unwell, inside all wrong.

Dined at 6. ˇ[Afternoon &] Evening very fine. Evening slow: ―

[Transcribed by Marco Graziosi from Houghton Library, Harvard University, MS Eng. 797.3.]

1. Rather. [↩]

Fine all though.

I left the good Phipps Hornbys at 10 ― a car to Petersfield. Rail to Guildford by 12. Wait till 1.30 ― rail to Reading at 2.30. Wait there till 3. Cheltenham by 6.40.

The Francillons are very kind: but I was worn out & sad.

Whether my “dentro” is injured or not I cannot decide ― but something is wrong & I must have advice.

Weather cold.

[Transcribed by Marco Graziosi from Houghton Library, Harvard University, MS Eng. 797.3.]

The morning was fine ― but it soon began to rain, & rained all day. ― So that, after a little walk in the rookery avenues, we did not go out. But I sate talking with the Adml. ― Maria & Lucy. Jamie is to come ˇ[to day].¹ Τὰ σκυλιὰ ειναῖ ὀλίγον ενόκλητα, ὲδὦ.² ―

Διά ἐμὲ ― ἒχασα πάσης σωτηρίας λιμένα.³ ―

Dinner ― & singing afterwards.

Sadness & misery.

At 10.30 P.M. Jamie came ― & we sate till 12 talking.

XX

There was a letter also from Γεώριγος Κοκάλι ―: he had but heard then of Ann’s death.

[Transcribed by Marco Graziosi from Houghton Library, Harvard University, MS Eng. 797.3.]

1. A longer sentence I cannot read has been covered. [↩]
2. Nina is not sure about this, which seems to mean: “Dogs somewhat sit on their hind legs here.” [↩]
3. As for me ― I lost the harbour of all salvation (NB). [↩]

Dull gray damp no sun.

Wrote till 12, & walked with the dear old Adml. ―

After lunch, walked alone towards Idsworth & over the down, “with weary steps.” played with lambs: came over the down.

A cold dark sadness. ― Now then I really know that Ann is gone: ― but this grows stranger & stranger , & I think it absurd for one to be left here.

Unwell also, & uneasy inside.

Dinner: the Adml. anxious about James, who has not come ― tho’ Friday was fixed by him.

[Transcribed by Marco Graziosi from Houghton Library, Harvard University, MS Eng. 797.3.]

Dull ― mizzly day.

Left Yarmouth at 9. Lymington, Brocklehurst, Southampton, Bishopswaltham, Portsmouth. Then to Chichester, & saw the ruined Cathedral. Back to Emsworth, & bad fly & bad horse to L. Green.

The Adml., Maria & Lucy.

Quiet evening & rest.

[Transcribed by Marco Graziosi from Houghton Library, Harvard University, MS Eng. 797.3.]

X ― a horrid state of things.

Very fine, most lovely. ― But I “packed” ― & made ready to go. A note came, sent by ET ― from F.L. ― but I had written to her to say I was off.

It was difficult to go without seeing her again, but the drawbacks & chances of staying are too painful. So at 12 I walked up the down, young Frankland having proposed to ride or walk with me part of the way. This lad’s company was a great pleasure ― involving very little exertion on my part, for he is lively, & having been 5 years at Gibraltar, full of Spanish fun, which he pronounces well. His mare Fanny, wa also one  well worth seeing, & so, all over these wide quiet downs with the calm bright sea ― the hours passed delightfully.

Only ― ever the cold weary feeling ― something is gone. Farther we came close to Carisbrook, & then, instead of getting a Fly at Newport, I turned towards Calbourne ― stopping at a small Beer-shop for a glass of ale “are you a traveller, Sir?” We passed Swainston, & Calbourne ― memories all of persons gone. ― & just beyond, Frankland left me. Light hearted, but good & intellingent fellow. ―――

So I walked on: ― Newbridge: ― a new place not in my map: & so by windy roads ― with always a quiet beauty beyond ― to Yarmouth by 6.30.

“George” Hotel ―an old building. ― Good rooms ― & good plain dinner.

(Very kind letters from Mrs. Percy, Miss Dennett, & Edwd Crake. ―)

A fortnight at this hour 8 or 9 ― I was with that dear dear Ann. ―

[Transcribed by Marco Graziosi from Houghton Library, Harvard University, MS Eng. 797.3.]

X

Fine ― but gray. ― Ill & sad.

Young Frankland sate some time with me.

Drew Windham Hornby’s Wansfell view.

At 4 walked with Frankland to Farringford, but by reason of interruptions, it was near their dinner time, & they she asked him, but he did not stay.

In the morning, Mrs. Cameron, with a Miss Frere & a Miss Clough had come ― & they came in the Evening to AT’s. The whole evening vexed & worried me. Εκεὶνος πάντοτε πίνει παραπολὺ, ― καὶ τώρα λαλᾶ διὰ τόσα πράγματα ἂσχημα.¹

Hers is a sad, tho’ a beautiful & true life. I resolved on coming away to go hence tomorrow.

Lovely moonlight.

[Transcribed by Marco Graziosi from Houghton Library, Harvard University, MS Eng. 797.3.]

1. He always drinks too much, ― and now he patters about so many ugly things (NB). [↩]

X

A lovely day all this.

But the inner darkness diminishes not.

Many letters.

Worked at colouring Zagóri & other sketches.

Went to AT’s at 2. Talk of the Welds ― C.W. is a bore. ― Warburton ― (who married one of the 3 Listers ―) was there for a short time.

Walked with Mr. Dakyns, ― the Downs & sea lovely. Dined at AT’s. ἡ ὁμιλία του εἶναι πολὺ ἂσχημος ― ἐπειτα ἀπὸ τὸ γεῦμα ― διὰ τὸ νὰ εἶναι πτωχός ― καὶ χαλασμένος κ.τ.λ.¹

Moonlight.

Back by 11.

bright sun all day

[Transcribed by Marco Graziosi from Houghton Library, Harvard University, MS Eng. 797.3.]

1. He talks very badly ― after dinner ― about being poor ― and broken etc. (NB). [↩]

O! dreary ― dreadful terrible days!! ―

Very bright & fine. Rose at 7 & walked up the [Ofton] Down. X.

Bah. ― returned. Mr. Frankland. ― Letters, Maria Hornby ― Ellen, Mrs. Foy, & others: & to which I wrote several. I think I shall go from here on Monday. X

Coloured penned=drawings.

At 4.30 resolved to go to AT’s ― but was too late.

Λοιπὼν, ἐγευμάτισα μόνος.¹ ――

[Transcribed by Marco Graziosi from Houghton Library, Harvard University, MS Eng. 797.3.]

1. So, I dined alone (NB). [↩]